Heartbreak is inevitable. At one point or another, you're going to fall for someone and we'd love that first person we fall for to be our soulmates, but more often than not, they aren't. And getting over heartbreak... well let me tell you, it really is a test of survival. I've been there done that, and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Heartbreak is more than pain; its an empty space inside you, a dull ache in your heart, a neverending knot in your throat and a constant struggle to not let the tears fall. Everyone reacts to it differently, but heartbreak is always rough.
When I got my heart broken, I went through a couple of phases. At first, I thought it was just another silly fight. Then when I realized it was more than that and the pain started setting in, oh god. I cried, I screamed, I yelled. I let it all out. After that I went into a long silence. I stopped crying, stopped screaming, stopped yelling. Matter of fact, I stopped making much noise at all. I was drained of all emotion. I would go through the motions of daily life, but thats where it stopped. I wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat, wouldn't talk or laugh or do much of anything. I spent most of my time thinking. I looked back at everything in the relationship and realized how many things had gone wrong. I had been stuck in a monotonous relationship where I didn't even feel special anymore. In fact, I didn't feel special, I didn't feel wanted, and I certainly didn't feel needed. My breakup became a breakthrough; I felt enlightened. So I became angry. I realized I deserved better, and no matter what, I did not want to go back. I left out of town for a while and life moved on. Sure I missed him, but it wasn't the same. It wouldn't ever be the same again. 
Within all these phases I went through, I kind of became an advocate for the anti-love movement. I was so sure I was through with it. No way was I putting myself through it again. Which finally leads me to the questions I asked in my last post. Where does love come from? Question with several answers. Where does it go when its gone? Who knows. For me it just faded away like a memory cause there was nothing there to keep it alive. Towards the end of our relationship he wasn't even the same person I had loved in the beginning. What takes its place? Nothing. Its there and then its not. Well at least thats what it felt like for me. And sorry I'm not being too clear on my answers, there's only so much insight I have, haha. And why does that place turn hard as stone? ...Its hard not to let it. There's so much pain, its easier to let yourself harden rather than to be left vulnerable. You don't want to be opened again. That's why it turns hard as stone.
Fortunately and unfortunately, I am in love again. Seriously. I feel like I'm crazy for even letting this happen, but I don't care. He's worth it. Every single moment with him is worth it. :)
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