Girl's Best Friend.

Yesterday was one of the sadder days of my life. I lost one of my best friends: my doggy. Every morning we let him out around 7 cause he likes to go handle his business on his own. By 10 he's scratching on the door for us to let him back in. Yesterday he didn't come home. There was no scratching on the door at 10 or 11 or 12. There was no scratching all day. Right after work my brothers George and Jared, my sister Yarely and my brother's girlfriend Gabby and I set off looking for him. We went up and down street after street calling his name and asking anyone we saw if they had seen him. Many had, but none had noticed where he was heading. We searched for hours and never found him.

Marco, I love you.

I miss him. I miss him soo much. I miss him climbing up on my bed to sleep under my covers. I miss him running at me excitedly everytime I walked through my front door. I miss the little crying sounds he made if we didn't let him in our rooms.

I won't give up looking for him anytime soon, but if he's not found, all I hope for is that whoever has him is kind enough to treat him right. He's a good dog and doesnt ask for much. Just please give him a little food and water and some love.

I miss you, Marco.

I'm No White Wonder Bread Girl.

I have this memory of a summer day a few years back. My mami, 2 brothers and I were at a Burger King out in suburban Houston. When we walked in, there was a lone man in front ordering his food. The back of his shirt read "Minuteman Border Patrol: Americans Protecting America." When he got done ordering his food, he turned around and literally glared at us. Not one word. Just the painful sting of his silence. Then as soon as they gave him his food, he walked outside, sat on the sidewalk and ate his food. The Burger King was empty except for us. He despised us without knowing us. Oh, I remember. I remember how for one second I hated my brown eyes, brown hair and the permanent golden tan on my skin. But why should I ever feel that way?

Proud to be Latina.

In an ideal world, no one would be judged by the color of their skin, but rather for the content of their character. Isn't that what Martin Luther King, Jr. dreamed of? It seems unreachable, but for the sake of my future children, their children, and the children of their children, I hope we keep trying. I love America dearly regardless of all the negativity we face and are dealt with, but I don't want to wake up one day and realize that nothing ever changed.  

America, lets learn to love and stop the hating. Please.

Small Town, City Girl.

From the time I was a little girl, I was convinced I was a city girl. I hated those yearly summer trips to Mexico cause I felt like I was missing so much of my life in Houston. In fact, in all the years that I've gone, this summer is the first one that I actually enjoy over there. And I feel like a little fool for not realizing the beauty of the countryside earlier! If I had only stopped to smell the roses... Well no sense in dwelling. The point of this post isn't to think back on my foolishness, but rather to comment on something that I've been thinking about. From the moment we stepped off Mexican land, I missed it. I miss it sooo much, if I could go back there for a couple of months, I wouldn't hesitate. I fell so much in love with our lovely bulls who wouldn't judge as I sat with them in the morning to tell them my thoughts. Corny, right? But, alas, if you had been there in the cool morning breeze feeling what I felt then you would understand. I've come to realize that I'm not really the big city girl that I always understood myself to be. As stubborn as I am, I cannot believe that I was so close-minded as to not accept the small town part in me.

Me & A Bull ;]

Daily I wake up with the urge to run outside and not smell the fumes that surround our lovely city. Not that I don't love Houston because I truly, truly do. <3 But sometimes a girl needs a breath of fresh air. Sigh. I really need a breath of fresh air. I end this post on a sad note. Tonights very humid. Blah.

Don't Say You Love Me.

As I sat around the office this morning wondering what to blog about, I realized what today's date signifies. Today, 08/25, is my parent's 20th wedding anniversary. The fact that the divorce rate nowadays is so much higher than the marriage rate makes me proud to say that my parents remain together even after having gone through so much. However, even while having a prime example of love right in front of me everytime I come home from work or school, I am still a HUGE skeptic of love. Even when I was a little girl, I never dreamed of finding my prince charming and getting married. Love has always seemed so far out of reach to me. I've gone through some boyfriends and although I've loved some much more than others, I've only been in love with one, and it didn't work out well. I know I haven't lived much seeing as I just recently turned 19 a couple of weeks ago, but I guess I just doubt too much. And I'm not saying I'm an easy person to love either. I've hurt some people that I never meant to hurt, but I've hurt too. I've accepted it as part of life. I think I'm just sorely disappointed because there are so many things I want love to be. And then I change my mind when I get it! Yes, girls really are confusing. We don't really know what we want. But guess what? Neither do guys!  Now don't take this post as a sad part of my life. Its not. Right now I know its hard for me to believe theres someone out there, but the way life goes, I could be totally in love next month. <3

Although I'm weary about love, don't fear guys. I think I've matured a lot over the years. For this love, I'm giving my all. But just remember. Don't say you love me, if you don't love me at all.

I'm out to lunch. :]

Theres Something About Food.

I've never suffered through an eating disorder before so I hesitate to say that I truly understand how intense the relationship between a person and food can be. But its not so hard to understand when you feel like you've been there to some extent. My own relationship with food is still a little rocky, but for the past year its been a lot better than it ever was. I spent my high school years eating a lot, dieting like crazy and, for the most part, just being unhealthy. Now that I've come to terms with my love for food, I don't binge and I don't diet. I'm exactly where I want to be at. Earlier, I came across these oil paintings that really caught my attention because they depict women in their most intimate food moments. I've been there locked away in my room eating away at everything around me, so to see how its captured so beautifully amazes me. God, I love these paintings.

I hope everyone enjoyed these as much as I did. :]

Being a Girl.

Todays discussion is on what its like to be a girl. I must admit, I have had those days where I have wished that I was a guy like the day of my high school prom when I started one of the most painful periods of my life. I mean, come on. Can you imagine how horrible I felt?! Plus, I was in an extremely bitchy mood all day. No, I'm not ashamed to talk about it. Its all a part of being a girl, and instead of being ashamed of opening up about these things or, even worse, considering them taboo, we should embrace it. So, here goes a run through what I consider both the bad and the good of being a girl.

1. The dreaded menstrual cycle.  There is no running away from this. There are ways around it, but no matter what you do, it will eventually find you. And for some girls, on those days where things got a little out of hand and you forgot about a little thing called protection, getting your period is a blessing. I have a love/hate thing going on with my period. I love that it means my body is doing exactly what it should be doing, and I love that its short. However, I hate the pain and the discomfort. And the timing! Sometimes I feel like my body is punishing me for overeating and not exercising enough.

Baby. <3

2. Giving birth. Now I know that as soon as I wrote giving birth, there were going to be mixed emotions. I have it on my positive side of being a girl. Why? Good question. Every once in a while when my mom and I get into a big argument, she'll remind me of how much pain I put her through in labor. She was in labor with me for 18 grueling hours. Ouch. But you know what, she wouldn't trade those hours in for anything in the world. And although I'm only 19, and I've never experienced motherhood firsthand, I know how I would feel about having a baby. I consider the ability to have a child as something completely wonderful, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

3. Food. Need I say more? God, how I love food. Anyone who knows me knows that I am constantly eating. I'm 5'3 and 118lbs but I can sure put food away. I can easily put away an entire pizza by myself for lunch. The only problem is... and its the same problem that most girls have I'm sure, weight gain. When my clothes start feeling a bit tighter, I know its time to hit the gym. Generally I'm pretty good about getting some exercise in the summer, but those dreaded winter days hurt. I always gain weight in the winter no matter how hard I try to keep it stable. So maybe my enemy isn't the food, its winter. Well whatevs. The point is that, as a girl, weight gain is pretty bad. When guys gain weight, its not so noticeable. When girls gain weight, oh lord, here come the diets and exercise plans. Why the pressure to look good?

 4. Boys. I'm not one of those girls that goes boy crazy, but I do enjoy having several guy friends. In fact, I probably have an easier time getting along with guys than girls. Its for the simple fact that guys don't start mess like girls do. They're content to hang out without even thinking about gossip. Thanks guys. You may suck as boyfriends most of the time, but as friends yall are pretty cool. :] Have a nice day, everyone.

The Beginning of my Blogging Experience.

Interestingly enough, I never thought much about starting a blog. I just happened to be at work on a slow Saturday morning, and I figured why not? I have plenty to say, plenty to share, although not a lot of free time to do it. But no worries. Once I commit myself to something, I try my hardest to go through with it. So.. let the blogging begin.